▲ if i care less, it will hurt less
It's Complicated
| Heterosexual
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Dec 7, 2015 3:34:02 GMT -6
Post by ELIZABETH WEST on Dec 7, 2015 3:34:02 GMT -6
i breath you in, again. just to feel you underneath my skin, holding onto... the sweet escape is always laced Liz slowly walked into the church, her boots clacking upon the polished marble as her dirty blonde hair fell over her shoulders. Feeling her guns dangling in the holstersthat they were in. Before she adjusted the leather jacket she wore to conceal the weapons as she sat down within a pew. Her brown eyes slowly lifted to the cross that was set upon the table along with the candles. The church choir humming a delicate hymn, causing the huntress to close her eyes as she relaxed there. The song brought her back to simpler days. Days that were normal, before all this happened, before all the chaos, all the nightmares. Fingers softly brushed along her stomach, watching the dark navy fabric beneath her fingers move with her fingers at the scar she was feeling beneath the article of clothing. Tracking him only lead to this city, but she did not once see his face. Perhaps he already heard she was here and he was avoiding her, thinking she was still just a mortal when she was much more then that now. Ari had lost so much since they had last met... she lost her second chance at a normal life and so she swore that she would never put herself in that position again. Especially in knowing that a lycan was also tracking her down, but she paid that no mind. She didn't need to venture her thoughts to that particular problem. Right now, she needed peace of mind but she wasn't so sure that God could even fix it. All he was to many people was hope, he was the answer to all. But why did a teacher leave his students in the dark and never answer the questions that they gave him? He was always so silent and he never spoke, not even within dreams. It seemed that the mortal race was just surviving on wishful thinking and what they thought was right. What ignorance they obtained to make the reality they were living in more real then the other person's. As thoughts muddled together with Elizabeth, she began to dose off. Laying down curled up in the pew, she kept her right hand upon one of her guns as she slept. Being cautious even in a church was one of the things that kept her alive. She was cautious as she was paranoid about her surroundings. For you never knew who was there, waiting for the perfect opportunity to kill you, to strike. As she slept, dreams filtered through the woman's mind. Of a past forgotten, memories playing themselves without being asked caused the huntress to slowly let her hand slip from her gun and fall into the open air. Causing her to jerk up, glancing around. Seeing there were more people then usual, she rubbed her right eye with the ball of her left palm. Listening to the sermon of accepting what was... and that everything that will be, shall be. Rolling her eyes as the people begun to stand. She too, stood only to leave. Slipping pass people she bumped into someone and went rigid at the contact. "excuse me, i gotta get through. church isn't really my thing i don't know why i came here in the first place." She spoke, stuffing her hands within the pockets of her jacket. When the person wouldn't speak, she slowly looked up to see who it was and quickly brushed pass him before he could catch a sight of her face. Well... she knew how observant he was so she could try like hell to avoid him, she wasn't ready for this confrontation yet and she wasn't wanting to talk to him just yet. Hell she didn't expect to find him, she expected this trail to just go cold and she be on her way to a different city. As she got out of the church she moved toward her black motorcycle and grabbed the helmet, quickly shoving it on so if he did come out. He wouldn't know... where she went but again. She knew how observant he was, so as she tried fishing for the keys to her bike she heard the doors opening of the church. Listening to the chatter of people inside as some people came outside causing her to look up and her heart to race. WORDS: 760 TAGGED: JACKSON HAWK NOTES: finally! MUSIC: familiar taste of poison,, halestorm
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It's Complicated
| Straight
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Dec 10, 2015 19:56:49 GMT -6
Post by JACKSON HAWK on Dec 10, 2015 19:56:49 GMT -6
you're still on my lonely mind there had been a point in his life at which religion was ever prevalent. the grace of god was something his mother firmly believed in; something she tried to instill into each one of her children. jackson remembered being scolded many times in his youth for trying to sneak a bite of food before grace was said at evening meals, talking too loudly during sunday mass, and using jesus’s name in vain. he believed in the big man upstairs, only because his mother did, who seemed to be an angel herself. she was wonder woman in the hawk household and if she believed in something, it had to exist.
but his faith quickly faded when shit hit the fan. when his mother was taken from their lives, he cursed god angrily under his breath, telling him that he hated him and would never again talk to him. and when things got worse –when his father was accused of murder and they were forced to live with cameron- jax had written the big man upstairs off all together. he didn’t exist; there’s no fucking way he could have. and for nearly ten years, he refused to believe that anything holy existed at all. there was only evil in the world…nothing more.
this line of thinking was held onto until he reached his hunting years, in which he realized the full extent of what was really out there. angels and demons…and every other monster in between. sure, maybe god hadn’t been kind or fair or doing his fucking job at all, for that matter…but he was very real. he'd created this world and now he was abandoning it all together for people like jackson to look after. it wasn’t ideal and it sure as shit wasn’t’ glamorous but for fuck’s sake, someone had to do it.
the golden rule of a hunter was always to be prepared. with that in mind, he flipped up the secret compartment in the back of his car, looking through the various tools, relics, and objects that were hidden beneath the trunk’s base. as usual the guns were loaded and the blades were sharpened, thrown into the mix with various hex bags and strands of wolfsbane. keeping in mind one of his last encounters with a demon he exorcised, he went for the flask of holy water, picking it up and giving it a shake. confirming it was empty, sighed, knowing he’d have to find a priest to bless the plain ol’ water he’d refill it with. in this cockier days, he thought he could bless it himself, thinking this whole ordeal about holy men was nothing but a sham. but after his first hunt without real holy water, he realized how wrong he was. and so, every few months, he sucked up his pride and headed to the cathedral for some assistance. it was always quite the hassle particularly because the monsignor saw the pain and guilt he wore on his face and constantly attempted to get him into the confessional booth. yeah, that would have ended real well.
it was unusual for jackson to stay in one place more than a week or so – the general turnaround time on cases. the only reason san francisco had proven to be a home for longer than that, a month or so, was because of the fact that kate was still here. she was taunting him, sending him on this wild goose chase in order to avoid her brother taking from her what she’d grown to love. and so, he’d settled, staying in the little safehouse that his father and uncle had set up decades ago. it was meager but it had a roof and a lumpy couch so that was all the hunter truly needed. and if kate were to up and leave, he’d follow right along…which was a painful, conflicting thought, especially considering he’d just learned thomas was in the area.
his entire love was falling apart; it had been for sometime. thomas had not only been back in the area but had gotten hitched and had a god damn kid on the area. to further that blow, he’d gone as far as inviting his sister and uncle to his wedding, completely leaving his brother, his best friend, and the person who raised him, out of the loop. it'd been a couple days since that calamity was presented to him and he still hadn’t figured out how to wrap his head around it. dad was off, on some hunting rampage that ended with a few too many drinks at night and of course, kate was having fun with her new vampire coven. and elizabeth…she was gone too. he’d managed to ruin that good part of his life, but he convinced himself it was for the best. overall, the entire ordeal had fucked with his head.
being that he wasn’t a man of god, jax had no grasp on the reality of what a church mass was like, nor their times. as he came into the parking lot and finally pushed through the doors, flask in hand, he groaned upon realizing there was some sort of ordeal going on. “great…just great…” he muttered, standing at the back and ignoring the gazes that rounded upon him sharply. the fact that the father was talking mean he’d have to sit through and wait for the entire thing to be over, without falling asleep. that in itself was a challenge.
distracted, jackson walked into the back of a pew, hitting his knee cap rather sharply. “son of a bi-!” he started off, silencing himself as all the angry glares returned to his person. “yeah yeah, sorry.” he muttered, attempting to get down the aisle to find a temporary seat. problem was, he hadn’t made it too far without running into something else…this time, a person. “preaching to the choir, lady.” pun intended. green gaze lifted to meet the one he’d collided with, only it had been a little too late. by the time he’d focused upon the figurine, he caught only the backside of the woman[and a very nice backside it was] and her locks dancing delicately across her shoulders.
in all honesty, he thought nothing of it until he caught her scent as she drifted past. he was no supernatural being with impeccable smell but he knew that scent from anyone. even in their time together, jackson could never figure out what it was about elizabeth’s perfume that drove him so mad. it was like his muscle memory, his sensory perception, had cradled her image in that soft smell. it was warm and kind and beautiful – reminding him of everything that she was. and then the voice. she said nothing of importance to him, but it was enough for him. all the times she’d sing in the shower and he’d listen with a smile…the moment she said she loved him…and then the screaming at him just before he left. for a brief moment he was stunned, trying to process what had just happened. it could have been anyone…a pure coincidence, but in his heart, he knew otherwise.
the hunter jogged down the steps of the cathedral, gaze scanning for the woman he’d just run into. had it not been for the clothing he noted on her, he would have missed her all together, on account of the fact she had already pressed a helmet over her head. “stop.” jax called out to her, seeing her struggle to find her keys. he wedged his foot underneath her wheel, in attempts to keep her from going anywhere…though she could rightfully just run it over. and knowing elizabeth west, she could and would. “take off your helmet.” if this was just a random woman, he was going to seem like a real creep…but a part of him knew better. hai template by Margie @ Adoxography v2
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▲ if i care less, it will hurt less
It's Complicated
| Heterosexual
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Jan 15, 2016 0:51:58 GMT -6
Post by ELIZABETH WEST on Jan 15, 2016 0:51:58 GMT -6
I breathe you in again Elizabeth sighed sharply as her blue eyes flicked down to the boot that was wedged underneath the track of her tire. She could have just ran over it and left him in the dust, part of her wanted to but the desperate look within Jackson's eyes however told her not to.
Gripping her keys in her hand she stared at him through the visor as he told her to take off her helmet before tossing her keys up, then catching them. It's not like he still had feelings for her, it had been so long he probably had moved onto other girls that didn't know exactly what he was like or the fact that at one point he was serious about things. So what did she have to lose?
Slowly she pulled her helmet off, shaking her head so the curls of her light brown hair fell down across her shoulders as she slowly stared at him. "you haven't changed, bossy as always." She spoke after a moment of silence, feeling her phone ring she slowly slipped her gloved hand into the inside pocket of her jacket and pulled it out. Pulling off the leather glove with her teeth, she clasped it in her other hand as she swiped the touch screen to answer the phone call. Turning her back on Jackson after a brief moment to hear her boss upon the other side of the speaker.
"No there was no trace of any suspicious activity in the catherdral James. None that i could tell anyways, my past decided to chase me out of the pews before i could have a full thorough look not to mention you know how i get bored at mass. Uh huh, yeah... i'll deal with the past that is lingering. Better yet, i think you might know him. He works in the same division, yep. Right... uh huh... whatever James, i got this." With that, she hung up and turned around to face Jackson pointing at him before slipping her phone in her back pocket. "Make this quick, i got a target that i need to deal with and chasing the past when you cut me out of it a long time ago is not something i need to deal with right now. So if you want to keep your foot, move it."
It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him, because she wanted answers. But she just didn't have time apparently or she was trying to avoid him, which was classic Elizabeth. So after a moment she sighed and moved to her motorcycle, straddling it as she pulled out her keys once more she stared at Jackson again before throwing her hands in the air. "You're not really going to let me go are you?" She stated matter of factly as she stared at him, then chewed the inside of her cheek as she looked away. Well might as well get this over with, what was the worse that could happen? Their feelings coming back about one another and things getting hectic? She didn't believe that was possible so maybe it wasn't... but who knew with Jackson Hawk.
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Jan 23, 2016 0:34:03 GMT -6
Post by JACKSON HAWK on Jan 23, 2016 0:34:03 GMT -6
you're still on my lonely mind jackson's actions had put him before his words. he had no idea what he was going to say to the woman when she finally lifted her helmet off...if she did at all. a part of him was hoping he was mistaken, that it wasn't his elizabeth. heh, and there he went...calling him hers, like she was still in his life. he'd given up happiness with her in his own desires to keep her safe. little did he know that she was thrown headfirst into this world of his...the supernatural one. so what exactly was he supposed to say? he'd proposed to her, brought his bloody father into her home to care for, left, and then returned only to take back the ring he'd given her three days earlier. he wasn't exactly the greatest guy in the world. honestly, if she drove off, it would have been completely justified. she didn't owe him a damn thing in the world, certainly not after all the pain he'd put her through.
though he appeared like your typical brooding guy on the outside, jax was a nervous wreck on the inside. he held his breath nervously until he saw the helmet come off, revealing the same beautiful face he'd fallen in love with a handful of years ago. the last time he'd seen it, he'd caused the tears streaking down her cheeks. if this was their last interaction, he could sleep a little better with this image rather than the last. not to mention, a girl as hot as her on a bike was enough of an image to stay with him. jackson let out a sharp breath finally, chewing at the inside of his cheek before she retorted. "you know me, when tommy's not around, i gotta boss someone around." he let out a half laugh, though it was awkward at best. he appreciated that her mannerisms seemed the same, even if time and distance had been put between them.
he had to admit, he found whomever called her rather annoying. he was feeling a bit selfish, wanting her all to himself in the current situation. it wasn't like he deserved it, but hell, a guy could hope. the last thing he wanted was her to leave, speeding off without a real explanation of what she was doing in the area. and too, despite the awkwardness, he simply wanted to be in her presence for a moment longer.
he liked to have been able to admit he wasn't eavesdropping but he couldn't. after all, as a hunter, he'd been trained to listen to all his senses and pick up on every detail of each situation. jax was a smart cookie, making it fairly easy to deduce what her conversation was about, to some extent. the words she used and their context, well, it threw him off guard. to him, it sounded like she was talking about hunting but logically, that didn't make much sense. she didn't know about the supernatural. no fucking way. "s'that about? and don't give me a smartass answer." words came out rough, almost accusatory. "hope you didn't go off and get yourself into somethin' stupid." he threw in there, though he was genuinely concerned about her safety. he always had been, which is why he split in the first place.
and there it was: the blame. jaw rotated slightly in agitation, though it was particularly at himself...not her. she was right. he cut her out, not the other way around. "well, when you're in my town, guess that gives me a right to ask why." the hunter stated simply, making it clear he'd been in san fran for a while. it was odd for him, to think he was living some place this long, but that had been the reality.
"don't count on it" jax stated with a half grin, admitting he wasn't going to let her go so easily. he couldn't. "so we really gonna do this? pass snarky comments back and forth til one of us gets tired of it?" he questioned rhetorically, rubbing the back of his neck. "you look good." such a cliche remark, but at the very least, it was true. honesty, he just didn't know what else to say...he couldn't utter the thousands of apologies like he really wanted. meep template by Margie @ Adoxography v2
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▲ if i care less, it will hurt less
It's Complicated
| Heterosexual
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Mar 17, 2016 4:00:48 GMT -6
Post by ELIZABETH WEST on Mar 17, 2016 4:00:48 GMT -6
breathing you in The exchange was definitely awkward between the two as blue eyes held the hard hazel gaze of the man she had given everything to only to be left for a normal life. But little did he know, she was dragged into a world of supernatural the moment she met him. But she licked her dry lips, she turned her gaze away from him. Ignoring the buzzing in her cellphone as she listened to him, laughing rather amused. "Remind me to tell that boy to not follow in your footsteps next time i see him. You are way too bossy for somebody i haven't seen in a few years..." She spoke, a sadness in the tone but she kept her face expressionless as she slowly folded her arms against her chest.
Having after answered her call, she looked up at Jackson having almost forgotten he was there for a brief moment before she scratched the back of her neck. Before she shrugged after a moment as she stuffed the cellphone within her jacket once more. "Business of mine?" She retorted in a smart ass way as she watched him, catching the tone before she scoffed as she looked away from him. Slipping off her motorcycle, seeing as he was preventing her from going anywhere before she sharply glared at him. "don't act like your concerned about me, Jack. You left me, remember? Last i recall, you don't really have a say on what i do with my life and where it goes." Jaw tensing, she folded her arms tighter around her chest. Trying very hard to conceal the fluttering that still happened when she was near him when he spoke out of concern for her, when he took authority. Chewing her bottom lip, she looked to the side after he had spoken. Training her eyes upon her motorcycle before her blue eyes fell upon him once more. Rolling her eyes at his grin before casting her gaze downward as she scuffed her boots in the cement. "Dunno, you know i like having the last word in so you're the one that will probably give up... seeing you have nothing else to say but you look good. Of course i do, i take care of myself... it's something that i actually know how to do...apart from the circumstance you left me in. Which reminds me..." She spoke as she dug a small item out of her back pocket and held her hand out, offering it to him.
As her hand slowly opened, what laid inside was a silver band covered in sapphire gems. It glinted slightly under the streetlight before her eyes fell upon him once more. "I figured you want this back for whoever you are with now. You paid a lot for it... so i figured i take care of it until i see you again to give it to you." She spoke simply, before her phone began to buzz again. Pulling the cellphone out, she looked at the contact and sighed deeply. Before hanging it up and looked at Jackson.
A million questions she wanted to ask him, a million answers she deserved. But she couldn't bring to ask him why. Why did he string her along on hopes of a happy life when he knew he was going to leave? Why make her believe he loved her when all he wanted to do was leave? How could she even tell him that the reason she lost their child was due to the stress and everything that had happened that day. The day that she was going to tell him. Tears slightly stung her eyes at the thoughts before she quickly wiped them away and grabbed his hand, stuffing the ring in his palm. "Anyways, i need to get this mission done before James starts sending people after my assignment." She spoke, covering up the breaking in her voice with clearing her throat as she shoved her leather gloves back on as she turned her back upon Jackson to grab her helmet.
really sorry for the wait emily ;-; ♡
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It's Complicated
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Mar 18, 2016 22:39:30 GMT -6
Post by JACKSON HAWK on Mar 18, 2016 22:39:30 GMT -6
you're still on my lonely mind even at their best, the playful banter had always been a part of every day conversation. it was simply a part of jackson, the sarcasm and dirty remarks, as it was apart of the woman who'd always held his heart. his gaze turned away momentarily as he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle at her words. an instant later, however, his eyes had wandered back to her, fearful that if he looked away for too long, she'd be gone. "he idolizes me. can't blame him, though. i am pretty awesome." even though the joking came easily to him, the truth did not. honestly, he and tommy were not okay. he'd only just found out his brother had been married and had a kid on the way, all without letting jax in on the secret.
"yeah? since when do you have business?" it came out a little ruder than it should have but that was jax, brazen and all. what it sounded to him was a whole lot of trouble that he didn't think she needed to be in. even after not seeing her for a few years, his heart still belonged undeniably to her. to see her hurt, even if he was the one doing it to her, was killing him. "i left to save you." his words were hushed now, as if saying them quieter would hide the emotion there. but the reality was that his pain and passion bled through, to the point there was no hiding it. "told ya 'bout a million times but it doesn't see to matter to you. too stubborn to listen..." and he should know what stubborn looked like. "it ain't safe bein' with me, liz. people around me either end up hurt or dead. i'd rather have broken your heart than see you dead." or a vampire, like kate. "so no, i may not have a say in your life but i didn't leave it so i could watch you self destruct with whatever shit you're caught up in." his concern came off as anger, huffing a little bit after his lecture.
all he could do was scowl at her words, kicking the gravel beneath his boots. how could he possibly make her see without admitting the truth about the world of monsters? no matter what he said, all elizabeth was ever going to do was blame him for what he'd done. it all faded, however, when she withdrew the small box. his gut told him what it was before he even laid eyes upon the content inside. "there's no one else. never will be." he muttered, pushing the box back at her as she offered it to him. "it was never meant for anyone but you." he was speaking from his heart, unable to shield his feelings in the matter. he'd purposefully left it with elizabeth, not expecting her to give it back. sure, he could have pawned it for a helluva lot of money but he couldn't do that. he left it with her, assuming she would have done just that. he couldn't bear to put it on anyone else's finger because there never would be another to wear it.
before he knew it, the box was being shoved into his hand as elizabeth gave him words about needing to leave. rather than let her, he rested against the bars of her bike, looking her straight in the eyes. so many times he avoided the gaze of others, not wanting to reveal the heartache that laid in his own green ones. but he couldn't turn away from her...she had to know that leaving her was not what he wanted. "you don't have to believe a damn thing i say...but i love you. i've never stopped lovin' you. that night i told you i had no more love for you so you wouldn't follow me. i'm drowning in my demons here, liz, but i wouldn't be any sort of man if i took you down with me. i can't see you livin' the life i live. i won't. i'd rather have you hate me for eternity and never have you than any alternative that involves you dyin'." with that, he propped the box on her bike, turning away. he wanted nothing more than to taste her lips again but it was clear she was done with him and frankly, he didn't want the tears to break from his own eyes. meep template by Margie @ Adoxography v2
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▲ if i care less, it will hurt less
It's Complicated
| Heterosexual
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Apr 19, 2016 1:39:12 GMT -6
Post by ELIZABETH WEST on Apr 19, 2016 1:39:12 GMT -6
breathing you in A million emotions filled Elizabeth as she stared at the man before chewing her bottom lip as he spoke of Tommy, before her blue eyes narrowed at his question. "Since now, i don't need you to protect me Jackson. I can very well do it my damn self, i'm not helpless like some of the girls you probably saved along the way." Her tone was just as rude before she sighed in agitation, pressing her hands to her hips as she glared at him before throwing her head back. Laughing in disbelief.
"Oh, to save me huh? Where were you when my tears threatened to drown me in my pillow that night? Where were you when i wanted nothing more, then for the pain to just be gone. Where were you when i got the stupid idea to..." Trails off as tears sting her eyes, before quickly wiping them away before sighing. There he went, playing the hero. Rolling her eyes, she turned to him and outstretched her hand up to cover his mouth. "Shut up, i got a say of what is safe or isn't safe, i'm doing my job not self destructing. I'm a hunter now like you so deal with it. Yeah, i did my digging throughout the years. You can stop pretending now."
Her emotions were high, especially when it came to him yet she didn't know why or she didn't really want to except the truth, that she was very much in love with this man. But she wouldn't let herself except that, not with everything she had been through. Not with the shit he put her through, it wasn't fair. So after she had tried to give him back the engagement ring, she shoved it in his hand. Claiming that she needed to go, in which she did because her bounty seemingly was on the move now. But when she prepared her bike, Jackson once again stalled her direction to leave. Causing an irritated huff to escape the young woman as she glared at him. But her gaze seemingly softened when he began speaking again, listening to his confessed words caused her to look down at her dash as she chewed her bottom lip. "You had no right making that choice for me, Jackson. I love you too, but you constantly want to be in control instead of letting things come as they may. You saying that you didn't love me, MADE me follow you and because i followed you and got into the hunter business..." She trailed off, gripping the handles of her motorcycle tightly as flashbacks of that day ran through her thoughts.
She was looking through files that day, Jackson's files when a knock came to her door. Slowly grabbing her pistol she moved toward the door and glanced through the peephole, asking who it was. Turned out it was her boss James. Sighing in relief, she hoisted her gun and opened the door. Letting the nerdy guy in. "So i don't know what your obsession is with the Hawk family, but i found a mission where you can potentially see them. But this case is dangerous... seeing they been tracking this case for a while." James warned holding up the files, only for Liz to quickly grab them and flip through them.
"This is the same thing that killed his mother... a demon right?" "Yes, you're still new to the supernatural world but i suggest you let this one go.. you're not in the right condition to pursue this Liz."James warned, causing Elizabeth to glare at him before slowly caressing her developing stomach and frowned deeply.
"I'm not going to do anything that harms the baby okay? I just need to see him, to tell him that he's a father. Just once." she spoke, seeing James's sympathetic look caused her to shake her head and pushed herself to her feet. "Anyways i gotta go, if you want to follow me then go ahead. But i'm still going." After brief arguing back and forth, Elizabeth began her pursuit at the mansion. Only she didn't see the Hawks anywhere but before she could even search to Jackson, the demon appeared before her. His eyes a sickening shade of yellow, his skin slowly burning into black. Clasped his hand around her wrist and drug her out. "Now this is an interesting treat, what's a pretty thing like you carrying the seed of a hawk eh? Tsk, tsk... there can only be two hawks little girl. I'm afraid i have to compensate, gimme the child's soul." The demon spoke, taunting her as his free hand ran along her stomach before Elizabeth elbowed the creature in the mouth. Wiggling out of it's hold as she pulled out her gun. The demon simply held his hands up mockingly as he advanced toward her.
"What did you do with Jackson?" "Oh ho, nothing yet. I still have his brother's life to mess up later on in the years but you. You will be a permanent scar on the hunter as i break him down in all the delicious ways, he's part of my grand design! A design that you, my dear. Are unfortunately not a part of, be a good dear and... DIE." And with that notion, everything had gone by so fast. Feeling a piercing pain in her stomach, she had looked down to see the demon's hand in her stomach. Only to pull out what was her child.... and swallowed it. Her vision had blurred and she collapsed to gun fire and the smell of sulfur. Only to wake up at the hospital two weeks later... with no child. She had never stopped grieving since that day.
When she came back to reality, tears had welled within her eyes before she looked up at Jackson and shook her head. Lips pursing together as she kept her grip on the motorcycle's handlebars before she let out a shaky breath. "I should have died a long time ago to be honest, Jackson. Death has always seemed to be one or two steps behind me, shadowing me. I think... i'm marked for death... maybe, i dunno." here have some feels?! ♡
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May 7, 2016 19:27:27 GMT -6
Post by JACKSON HAWK on May 7, 2016 19:27:27 GMT -6
you're still on my lonely mind to say that this was an emotional conversation was a monumental understatement. there were more emotions running through his mind than he even knew how to deal with, let alone identify. first and foremost came the guilt, which he had felt every day of his life since he walked out of hers. he felt it for her in abandoning her after promising her a lifetime of happines...for kate not being able to save her from the vampires...and for tommy for dragging him back in on this. it seemed that no matter how much he did for others, it was never enough. frankly, he was starting to doubt his own abilities lately, though it was a notion he'd fail to admit aloud. instead, he was turning into dad, taking the route of regular alcoholism.
and the more she spoke, the more the anger started to protrude as well. he deserved her words, each hurtful one that cut into him like a dagger. it was probably nothing compared to the pain he'd left her with, of that he'd convinced himself. but it did spark the frustration within him. how could he make her see that his decision, as seemingly awful as it had been, had been to protect her entirely? he'd tried putting it out there, with as much exasperation as possible but she simply didn't understand. while it caused him to get flustered, he supposed he couldn't blame her. after all, how could she understand about things that went bump in the night without actually telling her. and even if he had, she'd probably laugh it off, assuming it was just another excuse to get out of their relationship. he'd decided she was better off in the dark.
all he could do was listen to her but the words started to meld together. she was angry and hurt and he wasn't going to get anything else out of her. additionally, he wasn't going to be able to get anything else in her head that she hadn't already heard from him. he cast his gaze away for a moment, though a few simple words brought it back up to her. rather than worry or confusion, it was a look of pure petulance that he offered her. brow furrowed as he snapped slightly. "why the hell would you go and do something stupid like that?" did she expect him to be relieved or shocked or happy? never would he have wished his lifestyle upon anyone, particularly her. "i spent my whole adult life trying to get away from hunting." as a child, he enjoyed it, having something to do with dad that made him proud. but once reality hit, when he grew the fuck up, jackson realized it was nothing to be proud of. he was damn good at his job but it was a point of shame, not bragging. "you and i were something normal. that was my shot at living a normal life. being happy. almost had it too. but it never lasts, liz. not in this life. so why the hell would anyone choose that?"
jackson pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to make sense of it all. well, if she already knew what was out there, there was no point in trying to hide it from her anymore. "a demon killed my mother...my sister is a vampire...my sister-in-law was just murdered by who-knows-what....and i've lost countless friends to all the other nasty fuckers out there. now do you see why i didn't want to stick around...to watch that happen to you? i've lost too many god damn people, liz. anyone who associates with me ends up dead." it wasn't a matter of him not thinking her strong enough for the truth. it was a matter of protecting her life.
for a few moments, jackson was lost in his own little world, trying to fight off reality. he thought about death often and just succumbing to it...letting it take him over. but he was certain there was nothing pleasant in the afterlife for him. for all the good he'd done, he still saw himself as inherently undeserving of anything good. just like he didn't deserving elizabeth. when he finally came to, he noted that liz seemed to be in her own thoughts too, though she wasn't faring well. he watched her expression turn from sour to pained and a wave of concern came over him.
"what you need to do is get out of this god damn town. get as far away from me as you possibly can." jax offered her the advice after her words, though it was poor advice at best. she was too stubborn to heed his warning. the moment after he'd spoken them though, he regretted them...his every fiber wanting to fight against his own words. truth was, he didn't want her to go. he'd pushed her to the back of his mind for so long and now that she was here, he couldn't bare to go through that again. "what are we doing here?" he questioned with a heavy sigh, unable to keep one thought straight from another. without another word, he stepped to her, cradling her face in his hands and kissed her. she could slap him if she wanted, but he had to do it, even if just one last time. boop template by Margie @ Adoxography v2
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▲ if i care less, it will hurt less
It's Complicated
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Aug 30, 2016 21:09:01 GMT -6
Post by ELIZABETH WEST on Aug 30, 2016 21:09:01 GMT -6
breathing you in The young blonde stood there with her arms crossed as she listened to him huff and puff away, glaring to the side briefly before her blue eyes fell upon him. A sarcastic comment rolling right out of her mouth. "Oh i don't know Jack, maybe it's the fact that i wasn't ready to let go. I didn't force you to go save your dad now did i? But i was understanding enough to bandage the old asshole up when you brought him back to the house without any question because i trusted you. I thought we were going to be happy together, for always like you promised. But you lied about that just like you lied about not loving me anymore. I may be blonde but i'm not fucking stupid so don't be stereotypical about the fact that i look like a girl that can sell girl scout cookies out of my god damn ass." She snapped, removing her arms from her chest she stabbed a finger in his chest.
Looking like a fluffy kitten when she was angry as her eyes squinted into narrow daggers at him, blond strands of her hair falling within her face. "I chose this life, because i knew that you could never leave it. I chose it so i could find you and figure out what the fuck was wrong with you. We were never normal because there were things that went on in my life i never told you because at that point in time i thought you'd think i was crazy....maybe i should have opened up to you. Secrets... make you into somebody you're not." She trailed off then, downcasting her gaze to the gauges upon her bike.
The weight of her miscarriage hung heavily upon her soul as she sat there, almost forgetting he was there before she snapped back into reality and mumbled a huh at Jackson before blinking. Raking her fingers through her blond hair as she sighed deeply. "We both know i won't leave out of this god forsaken town without you. So drop the damn subject about me backing out of the bureau and leaving you behind. Not going to happen." Liz spoke with an exhausted sigh, letting her hands fall to the side as she moved to straddle her bike before she turned to tell him if he wanted her to go she would. But her eyes fluttered closed as she felt him caress her cheeks, causing her to slowly move her hands up to rest upon his as she leaned into his touch. Heart racing at his lips against hers she felt as if everything was the way it should be, this was where they were meant to be. Even if it was just a sliver of a moment when they were still what they used to be. Now.. now she didn't know what they were, let alone how she felt. But the more she kissed him the more she didn't want to stop, afraid he'd leave forever.
Regrettably after a moment, she broke the kiss. Touching her lips that now held a tingly sensation she stared at him in silence before looking to the side. "I don't know what we are, Jack or what we could be. It's been.... so long and i've been through so much. I don't want to hurt anymore and.... as much as i want this. I don't... i am not for sure you want this too...I just...." She sighed, not knowing how to word it before chewing her bottom lip after a moment. He was right, what were they doing here? reposty post ♡
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